Pray You Catch Me
Oh my goodness! What?
Yeah. It's me again- back on this blog!
I had a lot of hopes for this blog in 2015 and 2016 and it seems as if school and my life got in the way of that, which I think was for the best. I kept trying to set a goal of writing once a week and then twice a week, never really making a feasible and reasonable goal for myself and the ideas I like to share with people. It sort of died and I focused on other things I wanted to do, like getting caught up with my photo posting on Facebook and actively hanging out with friends and stuff like that.
Plus, 2016 wasn't a great year for me in terms of friendships. Something I discussed in my last blog post in late 2016: Love Yourself 2.0. (In which, at the end, I said "hopefully the next wait won't be this long"- I missed that by about a year.)
2017 ended up being a great year for me and I really do think I made strides to get myself that much closer to My Purpose in life. I added a minor, Religion, I changed my life goals around a little bit (something I hope I'll get to talk about in a future post), I joined one of the best organizations on campus, UVM Program Board, I had important conversations with my friends that were necessary for me to grow, I started going to the gym a lot more than I used to, I've been seeing a therapist through the CAPS center at UVM, and I really focused on myself; my self-worth, my happiness, and my impact on the environment I surround myself with.
I'm proud to say that I love and understand myself more than I ever have and will continue to focus on myself throughout 2018.
In terms of this blog, I want to set a new goal for myself: at least one post a month. I believe I have friends who will help me stay accountable to that and hopefully I can hold myself accountable to that. I just feel like I have so much to share with the people around me and I have so much to say. For that monthly post, I plan on titling each post with a name of a song from Beyoncé's 2016 album LEMONADE and how that might relate to my life in the current moment.
This month's is "Pray You Catch Me"; part of her chapter in the visual album on Intuition. The song discusses her catching her husband "whispering" while he catches her "listening." My thoughts for what this means is Beyonce catching Jay Z telling her, perhaps from deep within, the reasons for his infidelity and the problems he feels in their marriage while she tries to trust her intuition, her suspicion, and the pain experienced with knowing without being told.
I hope to catch the people in my life "whispering" to me and "listening" to them as I try to be more attentive to problems that maybe I can't catch or see from not having their perspective. I hope to be more open, in both what I say to the people in my life and to the things, perhaps criticisms, they may have about me.
I started my blog, originally, with my "About Me" section on Facebook, a section I like to take time cultivating and explaining exactly who I am and who I aim to be. The last time I edited this was in September of 2015, so I think it's about time I made a new one; one I'll leave as a closing for this post.
My name is Jamal Davis Neal, Jr.
Welcome to my About Me.
I hope whoever reads this learns more about me, whether it be an old or a new friend.
It's pretty long though, so I wouldn't blame you if you didn't.
R.I.P. Daddy, I miss and love you so much.
12/19/72-12/29/10
I'm trying to love as much as I can, but it's hard, so please be patient with me.
I've grown up in a small coastal town called Groton, CT.
I am a 20 Year Old Junior at the University of Vermont and I'm studying Neuroscience with minors in Chemistry and Religion. My goal was to become a neurosurgeon, but I'm pretty sure I'm ready to accept my call to Ministry within the American Baptist Church Denomination. My goal after undergrad is to take a year or two off to work, travel, and do some sort of mission work/service project. After this, I hope to go and get my Master's in Divinity somewhere where I can explore.
One of the biggest things that is central to my identity is my spirituality. I hope that my actions outweigh the words I try to use to prove my Christian identity. I hope to be a beacon of light through Christ by shining love onto people. My goal is to never have to prove that I love God.
I love music and Spotify has helped me discover more and more. If you want to know my current jams, you can find me there.
I enjoy using social media and even have a blog I'm trying to keep up with. It’s called My Search for a Purpose and you can find it at this link: [http://existwithmeaning-jdnj.blogspot.com/]
Something salient to me, as an individual, are the goals that I set for myself.
One of them includes letting go and letting God because I still rely too much on my own instinct. I believe that this includes always striving to be your best self, which can be found in self-love and appreciation; the best way to celebrate God's gift of life.
The next goal I have is to discover more about and show my love for being Black. In wanting to be a beacon of love, I also want to be a role model for male people of color. To do that, I think I need to learn more about the history and current events of what exactly it means to be black.
Another goal of mine is to understand and appreciate my queerness. I hope to make a blog post about this one day soon, but for a while I really shamed myself for being attracted to both men and women, and now I'm really trying to embrace and explore that.
Lastly, I'd really like to focus on my weight loss journey. I can try to blame circumstances for my weight, but it really only comes down to my own might. This is something I've "been trying to work on for years," but haven't really. I feel a sense of self-awareness when it comes to the life habits I need to change in order to be healthier, a self-awareness that I haven't felt before. I hope that this feeds my drive to go to the gym and eat healthier.
All in all, I want to keep exploring my many different identities. I want to keep growing through all my experiences and I hope that my journey through life is filled with light and love. Most of all, I want to share this with the people I love; part of the reason why I care so much about the "About Me" section and part of the reason why I want to have my blog.
I hope that through my exploration and love for myself, I encourage, inspire, and challenge others to grow, live with, and love themselves.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
(It used to be MUCH longer)
I hope to catch the people in my life "whispering" to me and "listening" to them as I try to be more attentive to problems that maybe I can't catch or see from not having their perspective. I hope to be more open, in both what I say to the people in my life and to the things, perhaps criticisms, they may have about me.
I started my blog, originally, with my "About Me" section on Facebook, a section I like to take time cultivating and explaining exactly who I am and who I aim to be. The last time I edited this was in September of 2015, so I think it's about time I made a new one; one I'll leave as a closing for this post.
My name is Jamal Davis Neal, Jr.
Welcome to my About Me.
I hope whoever reads this learns more about me, whether it be an old or a new friend.
It's pretty long though, so I wouldn't blame you if you didn't.
R.I.P. Daddy, I miss and love you so much.
12/19/72-12/29/10
I'm trying to love as much as I can, but it's hard, so please be patient with me.
I've grown up in a small coastal town called Groton, CT.
I am a 20 Year Old Junior at the University of Vermont and I'm studying Neuroscience with minors in Chemistry and Religion. My goal was to become a neurosurgeon, but I'm pretty sure I'm ready to accept my call to Ministry within the American Baptist Church Denomination. My goal after undergrad is to take a year or two off to work, travel, and do some sort of mission work/service project. After this, I hope to go and get my Master's in Divinity somewhere where I can explore.
One of the biggest things that is central to my identity is my spirituality. I hope that my actions outweigh the words I try to use to prove my Christian identity. I hope to be a beacon of light through Christ by shining love onto people. My goal is to never have to prove that I love God.
I love music and Spotify has helped me discover more and more. If you want to know my current jams, you can find me there.
I enjoy using social media and even have a blog I'm trying to keep up with. It’s called My Search for a Purpose and you can find it at this link: [http://existwithmeaning-jdnj.blogspot.com/]
Something salient to me, as an individual, are the goals that I set for myself.
One of them includes letting go and letting God because I still rely too much on my own instinct. I believe that this includes always striving to be your best self, which can be found in self-love and appreciation; the best way to celebrate God's gift of life.
The next goal I have is to discover more about and show my love for being Black. In wanting to be a beacon of love, I also want to be a role model for male people of color. To do that, I think I need to learn more about the history and current events of what exactly it means to be black.
Another goal of mine is to understand and appreciate my queerness. I hope to make a blog post about this one day soon, but for a while I really shamed myself for being attracted to both men and women, and now I'm really trying to embrace and explore that.
Lastly, I'd really like to focus on my weight loss journey. I can try to blame circumstances for my weight, but it really only comes down to my own might. This is something I've "been trying to work on for years," but haven't really. I feel a sense of self-awareness when it comes to the life habits I need to change in order to be healthier, a self-awareness that I haven't felt before. I hope that this feeds my drive to go to the gym and eat healthier.
All in all, I want to keep exploring my many different identities. I want to keep growing through all my experiences and I hope that my journey through life is filled with light and love. Most of all, I want to share this with the people I love; part of the reason why I care so much about the "About Me" section and part of the reason why I want to have my blog.
I hope that through my exploration and love for myself, I encourage, inspire, and challenge others to grow, live with, and love themselves.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
(It used to be MUCH longer)
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