The Beginning of Mastery

Hello and Welcome to a New (two week late) Blog Post!
This post was originally meant for the end of September 🙃 so here's an update for that month: 

September:

• The month started off with the beginning of classes! Which is going to be the majority of this post, soooo details to come!
• I got to know some community members through some cool resources that YDS has to offer like DivOut, the Marquand Gospel and Inspirational Choir (MaGIC), and Yale Black Seminarians. 
• I joined a prayer-and-just-generally-forming-community-group within the smaller, congregationalist institution within YDS, Andover Newton. This group has been such a joy to attend on Mondays!
• You know I'm still having my therapy sessions to keep me relatively sane :)
• I had an ordination conversation with my pastor, Lonnie. It feels really great to be supported by my church family in this journey that I have embarked on. 
• Jane finally came back to Connecticut and we got to spend some much needed time together. I always feel grounded and renewed by her presence and I'm very thankful to have her in my life. We spent so much time in nature during our weekend together, including a Youth Group Picnic & Hike!
• I got a job at the Tsai Center for Innovative Thinking at Yale as an Events Specialist! I'm excited to restructure some of our online programming and for the ability to connect with friends all across Yale's campus. 
• I went to a conversation on Decentering Institutional Whiteness. It helped me to feel affirmed in my call to do the work that I want to do, and have done, within the institution of higher education. I'm hopeful that the conversation was helpful for the other students that got the opportunity to attend. 
• I attended a rally in response to the injustices regarding Breonna Taylor's murder in downtown New Haven and had to leave because I felt really uncomfortable. There was a centering of white voices and white police presence that did not feel like the appropriate space for me to grieve or process among community. I'm hopeful that future experiences in New Haven are much better. 
• I also got elected as one of two First Year MDiv Representatives on the Yale Divinity Student Government! I'm excited to work with my partner in helping our cohort feel seen, heard, and recognized among the greater student body!
• I'm thankful to have been able to reunite and reconnect with Clique too! I love my peeps from Great Oaks and I'm thankful that we still want to be in each other's lives after such a horrendous experience, even if we do get on each other's nerves. 😬😉😁
• My mental health was not lit during September for a multitude of reasons, but I'm thankful to my friends and family for providing me space to process, breathe, and find myself again. Recentering is always an anxious process for me, but if I'm committed to staying to my true self, then I need to make it a priority whenever I feel unbalanced. 
• Rhonda has been having some ~troubles~ and so I brought her down to Meineke in Bridgeport a few Saturdays in a row. While the troubles are still ongoing, I'm thankful for the time I got to spend with Cherice and her family. They made me feel welcomed, appreciated, and cared for. I'm excited to get to know them more and more as Cherice and I become closer biffles!

And of course more stuff happened, but there's a reason why summaries are brief!

The Beginning of Mastery

My Roommate, Will and I. Week before classes. Yale Divinity School.

So! Here we are! The Beginning of Mastery! :O The beginning of a whole new program. 

Of course, throughout my graduate school journey, I will have many check-ins on how I'm doing and how I'm progressing, but we have to start somewhere.

At the point in time in which I'm writing this, I have successfully completed more than half a semester here at Yale Divinity School. I oftentimes find myself still questioning whether this is a real experience I'm having. Zoom fatigue definitely contributes to this (and to so much of my emotional and physical disconnectedness from possible friends, good professors, etc.) in addition to my lifelong accursed impostor syndrome. Thankfully I've been given plenty of signs that I belong here: for the most part I'm enjoying the classes I'm taking, I find myself able to craftily articulate concepts in discussions and conversations with colleagues, I'm making lasting connections, I feel affirmed in my abilities as a scholar and human being, and I'm fucking doing the damn thing!

I have made it. I am present. This is my reality. I belong here. I am here. 

And for that I am so grateful. 

There are so many aspects of this part of my journey that I wish to relay, but I want to keep it fairly short and simple and just focus on the classes that I'm taking!

Old Testament Interpretation I with Professor John J. Collins: 

This class was initially an experience that I was dreading. I joked to quite a few people as to the reason I was taking it so early in my career: "It's required and I want to get vengeful God out of the way!" Little did I know, this joke was very supersessionist of me, but hey! I didn't know what that was until a few days in to History of Early Christianity!

Professor Collins has a wealth of knowledge to share with us as well as a rather readable textbook that pairs very nicely with his lectures. Some of his phrasing can be a little dated, but in choosing my battles and reserving my energy, I understand this to be an aspect of the sunset of his career. I appreciate his quibs and ironic humor, especially so early in the morning. 

I have been reading for this class. Lately, I've been getting a little bit better about picking and choosing what is worth my consumption and what is not, but I'm appreciative for the amount of resources and material we are given. I've learned so much about how to interpret the Old Testament and in acknowledging its connection to the myths of the Ancient Near East. I've been affirmed in knowing that historical context is of vital importance in our wider pursuit of knowledge, especially including religious scholarship. 

We just had a midterm this past week and I think I did pretty well on it! We shall see the real results soon though. 

History of Early Christianity with Professor Gabrielle Thomas:

This class was also one that I was dreading. I think, for the majority of my life, I've pretended to hate history because "I love science so much!" (We love constraining ourselves within a binary!) For some reason, I try my best to forget the hyper-meticulous note keeping I did for AP US History back in 11th grade...

I have also been reading for this class (hell, I've been reading so much for all my classes...). The material that we're studying in this course hasn't been something I would call interesting, just because I definitely don't want to see much of it after this semester, but I do think it's been interesting in the sense that it too provides a lot of historical context. The development of doctrine, biblical canon, and the general Christian community are so influenced by the context of the patristic period; to see these early church "fathers" come together, argue, and parse out belief, scripture, and authority has allowed me to understand more about my own faith and its origins. In many ways, a lot of their conversations continue to shape Christianity today! 

In the words of the Keeping it 101 Podcast, and Ilyse Morgenstein Fuerst, more specifically, "religion is [truly] what people do." This idea has been so affirmed by this study and I'm thankful I get to learn from such an enthusiastic professor. Professor Thomas makes the class engaging and you can tell that she's really passionate about its study and in beginning to unpack the horrible, racial and gender, among other, violence that is so promulgated during the Early Christian period.

We recently had a "reflection" due this past week; a 1000 word essay on one of the subjects that we had covered so far. I decided to write mine on 3rd century theologian Origen of Alexandria and discussed how his view of God and salvation is paramount for our modern understanding and relationship with God. 

Ministry & The Disinherited with Professor Frederick J. Streets:

This course was recommended to me by the Dean of Andover Newton, Sarah Drummond and I'm so glad that I'm taking it. This is one of the two seminar courses that I'm taking (which, unfortunately both fall on Tuesday.... 4 straight hours of class... :/). The course is built around Howard Thurman's Jesus and the Disinherited, a wonderful work that describes the experiences of the disinherited (often times marginalized) in our society and nonviolent responses to oppression. We have also read Kenji Yoshino's Covered to frame our discussions of experiences of marginalized individuals. This class has allowed me to feel seen, heard, and understood as someone who holds many marginalized identities. I'm thankful for the multitude of voices that we have who contribute to conversation, and I'm thankful for the opportunity to incorporate my identities into my learning. 

Professor Streets is the first Black teacher that I've ever had. I'm thankful for his wisdom and careful insight as he guides our class through discussions. His energy is something I wish to emulate in my practice in the future and I believe I can learn so much from him.

A few weeks ago I was given the opportunity to discuss one of the topics that Thurman brings up in his book. I chose to parallel his reflection on Fear with Kendrick Lamar's song "FEAR." It gave me the opportunity to actively synthesize two pieces of work that I draw inspiration from and I am glad that I was able to do so relatively well!

Pastoral Perspectives on Death & Dying with Professor Mary Clark Moschella

Part of the reason I took this course was because, in my grand plan for life, I believe one of my responsibilities, as an ordained minister not interested in parish ministry, is to provide rituals for the people in my community. Death and Dying are among the most frequent rituals performed by clergy... people die almost as often as we're born!

Another reason why I took this course was to properly challenge me. Later this year will mark a whole decade since my dad passed away and, in the course of my adult life, I'm still finding ways to properly mourn and grieve. This course has already provided so many opportunities to share loss, to find hope, and to properly grieve those that we've lost. Professor Moschella has a wealth of expertise and insight and I'm thankful for her thoughtful reflections and probing questions. 

We've gotten the chance to read some amazing books as well: How we Die by Sherwin Nuland, Grief: Contemporary Theory and the Practice of Ministry by Melissa Kelley, Passed On by Karla Holloway, The Light of the World by Elizabeth Alexander, and right now, Religious Understanding of a Good Death by Harold Coward & Kelli Stajduhai. Each has been challenging to read, but have given me an opportunity to unpack and explore death and dying. 

So... yeah. 

That's my graduate experience so far! I'm thankful for the people that I've met, the friends that I've made, the classes I'm able to take, the professors I'm able to learn from, and the reflecting I'm able to do within and among myself. I'm excited and nervous for what the rest of my graduate career has in store for me, and I trust that no matter what, I'll make it through these four years. 

Thank you for reading!