The 2010s
Beinvenue to yet another blog post by yours truly! Thanks for tuning in:)
As always, a brief overview of months previous (I just realized I did October two posts in a row? Yikes)
November
Here's a #TBT of The 2010's!
Obviously it's not going to be a COMPLETE overview of the past ten years. That would be impossible! But, it's a lot of the major events and themes of my life over this past decade and meant to serve as a reflection before we start this next one. I heavily relied on Facebook's Grid View for some of the more major events.
I started the decade as a 12 year old and had all my teenage years in this decade. I finished 7th grade and started 8th grade at Fitch Middle School, which is now closed. I had cut my original set of locs that I had had since 4th grade and, subsequently, started a process of regrowing them. In 2010 I had a cat named Onyx Berry Williams who passed away in 2012. My favorite band was All Time Low because I had a crush on a girl who sang "Therapy" at a talent show in 7th grade. I had a flip phone as my first phone and used my PSP to listen to music. My favorite gaming system was the Nintendo Wii because my cousin Genesis had already tripped over and broke my PS2 by this time. I liked playing MarioKart and Super Smash Bros. BRAWL online because my family got wireless internet in September. I was very involved in my church at this time, participating in both bell choirs, both vocal choirs, the youth jam band, and youth group in general. We were gearing up for my final play at Union Baptist Church, "Makin' Room" which premiered in January 2011. I played make believe games outside with my friends and was really invested in writing Book One of The Chronicles of the Raging Ones book series with a few other friends: "Greek Hero? More Like Greek Zero!" This eventually fell apart and I've since drifted from these friends. I made my second Facebook account in July, because the one I had made the previous year got deleted by Facebook because I was too young to have one... but I was still too young in July 2010 so I don't know how they let me slide with this current account. I Skyped with friends quite a bit and made a habit of staying up way past my bedtime. I gave up eating beef (for the first time!) in October for whatever reasons I had at that point. 2010 ended with my father passing away on December 29th.
2011:
2011 started with my dad's funeral on January 5th. My favorite song at the time was "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen, so I sang that at his funeral. To this day, I can't bear to hear the song and I choose to save singing it for very special occasions. 2011 was also my last year of middle school, so I participated in my third and final Middle School Eastern Regions Festival and saw How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying ft. Daniel Radcliffe on Broadway with the Fitch Middle School Music Department. I made a YouTube channel and sang covers of songs that I liked on it, including "A Whole New World" from Disney's Aladdin and the Alphabet song. I got an iPod Touch and started putting songs on that device instead of using my Playstation Portable. I went to my first Area I Bell Conference at UMass Amherst and was somehow convinced to give Football a try for high school... which didn't happen. In March I created this: "MY BIG FREAKING HARRY POTTER MARATHON!!!!!!! Schedule" for July 14th & 15th, when the 8th movie in the Harry Potter series came out. This was definitely one of the more neurotic things I did pre-high school. A few days after that movie premiered, I shaved my face for the first time. In August I started Marching Band which colored my whole high school experience. In September I started high school- we started on the Tuesday after Labor Day because of Hurricane Irene. A lot of the hangouts I did during my freshman year of high school were largely centered around walking all around Groton with a few friends. These were some of my favorite times I had spent with people in high school.
2012:
This was the first year I started making my "About Me" section on Facebook a really big part of my social media identity. The original intention of this was so that I was able to "find my happiness again"- an integral part of that year's New Year's Resolution. I joined Planet Fitness for the first time, so as to dedicate myself to a fitness journey that is still in its infancy 🙃 (I'm only a little bit joking)
In February, a previous member of my church, took his own life. This was the first time suicide manifested itself in a very real, scary, and physical way in my life. I wish access to mental health resources were more discussed during this time in my life, because I know so many people, including myself, who have suffered with suicidal ideations. I know that these conversations can be difficult, but having them is the best preventative measure that we have.
In April, my littlest first cousin, Abbott Cole Williams was born and my Uncle Warren became a father. My uncles and I disagree on a lot of things, but I know for certain that he loves Abbott more than anything else in this world and will do anything to keep him happy and healthy. Abbott keeps us all young in so many ways and I'm so thankful he has graced my life for the past 7 years:)
My first year of high school ended in 2012. Academically, I didn't do the best that I could have done, but that was not a worry for the rest of my high school career. By the end of the year, I knew I as going to be in Chamber Choir the next year and Co-Low Brass Section Leader in Marching Band. I met friends I thought were going to be my best friends forever, but instead gave me invaluable life lessons.
I memorized the entire Marching Band Show for my sophomore year on Baritone, to show how dedicated I was to the band, but was asked to play Tuba for the season because we were getting a new, amazing Baritone player. I did whatever Lefebvre asked me, because I wanted so badly to be drum major in the future and thought that strict compliance was going to reward me. I never ended up memorizing the whole show on Tuba, by the way. I didn't end up getting the Drum Major position, but was instead given the title of Captain of the Marching Band, or Lefebvre's right hand man in student leadership.
I don't really have many memorable events for the first half of sophomore year!
The year closed with a very exhausting 15th birthday party that I hosted at the Groton Municipal Center for myself.... why did anyone let me do this? I have no clue... While I have no distinct memories of this party, I promise you it was not very fun and I very much regret forcing all these people to get together for a very mediocre time... and subsequently posting in a group of more 100 people how dissatisfied I was with how it turned out... and wasting energy and money on it... but y'know, we can't change the past.
2013:
The second half of Sophomore Year! I was awarded with the Most Outstanding Sophomore Award in Marching Band as well as many other academic achievements (after pulling my shit together, compared to Freshman year).
The Summer of 2013 was very transformative for me.
I spent quite a bit of time at Camp Wightman during this summer because I was training to be a counselor for the first time in the LEAD program. This was the last summer I did Senior High Event, because I felt like I was outgrowing that part of the program. Unfortunately, the summer of 2014 was my last year of camp because becoming a camp counselor no longer seemed like something I wanted to do if it meant dealing with the bureaucracy of camp leadership.
I participated in my second and most recent Area I bell festival at the University of New Hampshire!
I also went to DC for the National Independence Day Parade where I marched tuba for the last time! Although I thought I was going to pass out in my WOOL uniform on JULY FOURTH in HOT ASS DC, we made it through and it ended up being an invaluable experience.
Additionally, I was given the opportunity to represent my church denomination, American Baptist Churches of Connecticut, at our denominational National Gathering in Kansas City as a Regional Youth Representative. This allowed me to explore some more intricate parts of my church and its history. I'm so thankful for this experience.
My Junior Year started in 2013. My marching band was #1 in the region, I was excelling in all my classes, inclusive of AP & IB. I got a Shih Tzu named Daisy Williams who had to be given away a year ago because my family could no longer take care of her. I miss and love her so much. The year ended with me turing 16 and getting my permit to start learning how to drive and then heading to Texas for Christmas Break! I don't remember how long we stayed, but this was the last time I'd visited my family in Texas- and the last trip I will probably ever take with my grandmother. I'm thankful for that time spent with my little cousins and my grandma.
2014:
In 2014, during the second half of my Junior Year, I auditioned and was able to participate in my first ever All-State Music festival in the Mixed Vocal Choir. I loved the experience All States gave me and miss seeing in these choirs with amazing musicians!
I attended driver's ed for the first couple months of 2014 and got my license in April!
I was able to attend two proms, which was so nice to have been able to do.
I was voted in as President of my class for Senior Year which was my goal, throughout all of high school. I'm so thankful for the people who supported me in that position and for the growth I was able to undergo as President.
I then started Senior Year in the fall! I had my last season in my marching band as band captain, and although we were only 2nd in the region, I feel like this was my favorite year to be a leader in the band and to perform at the level of excellence we had achieved in the four short years I had experienced under Lefebvre's leadership. There are many things about high school that I do not miss, but I surely do miss most parts of my marching band career.
At some point in senior year I had discovered that I loved Beyonce, and have been a dedicated BeyHive member since.
In September, I was chosen as a recipient of the Martin Luther King, Jr. Scholarship Award- one based on academic excellence, leadership demonstration, community involvement, and overall emulation of Dr. King’s character and beliefs. This award felt like a culmination of all the hard work I put into my education and extracurricular activities and I feel so blessed to have been able to use that award toward my education.
In November I started working at my first job ever at G.H. Bass & Co. in Mystic, CT! This was a job I held on to until June 2018. Although I had turned 16 eleven months before this, I thought it was smart to start working after 1st: obtaining a license, 2nd: not start during the summer because I was gone for pretty much all of July, and 3rd: after marching band season.
2015:
Let me tell you... Senior Year was a shit show. I was in over my head with the classes I was taking, coupled with the extracurricular commitments I had... and ended up not doing well at all.
One of my goals in life was to get into Yale College... I was deferred and later rejected, assumably because of my Senior Year grades. Early into 2015, though, I discovered that my academic career would continue at the University of Vermont after I graduated from Fitch High School.
Despite not doing so hot, I made sure to end senior year with some very memorable events.
I participated and won the Mr. Falcon Pageant Show at our school, I went to NYC and sung at Carnegie Hall with my Chamber Choir, I hung out with friends all the time, I had a great time at prom, and did the thing and graduated from high school!
I started college at UVM, lowkey fell in love with a best friend, met my actual best friend, and dedicated a lot of my time to maintain friendships from high school.
My first year at UVM did not go well. At this point in my life, I really thought I wanted to be a Neuroscience major and wanted to go to school for medicine. I'm glad that I had the experiences I had to know, for certain, that this is no longer my path, but I do wish I had chosen a different major.
Also, at this point in my life- I didn't identify as queer- so really the word for all of 2015 was ~Denial~.
I also started this blog in 2015!
2016:
At this point, my grandmother started to show obvious mental deficits from dementia and was diagnosed with breast cancer. This was the beginning of when my house no longer felt like home because of how volatile it was starting to become. I wish we were more proactive about care needs at this time, because I think it would have saved my family a lot of stress.
I started the summer season by getting a 2005 Honda Pilot, named Rhonda. I love Rhonda with my whole heart and am grateful for the many trips that me and my first car have had together. I spent most of the summer extremely depressed and unmotivated, glued to my couch. I don't regret the time of rest I gave myself, but do wish I had worked another job, or spent more time with friends, or anything else other than what I did.
My Sophomore year I started to become more involved on campus. Part of this was because my friend group at home was falling apart, but also because I wanted to be a more well-rounded undergraduate student. I chose to run as President of our Hall Council with my friend Mari running for Vice President. We both also took up a few days a week working as Delivery Drivers for Papa John's. For sophomore year, I'm mostly thankful for my experience at 2 North East Affiliate of College and University Residence Halls Regional Conference as well as a National Conference.
I came out to my friends and family at some point during the fall after realizing it wasn't worth the time or energy to keep it a secret from myself or from other people any more. 2016 ended with my last big event for my friend group at home- "Starting 2017 Right!"
2017
2017 was an extremely transformative year for me. At the end of my sophomore year, I was hired to be on the UVM Program Board as a member of the Production Team because I sent a nice email about Springfest tickets. Additionally, around this time, I really thought about whether pre-med was right for me. I contacted Professor Anne Clark in the religion department about getting into one of her TAP classes. She told me it was for freshman only, but invited me to begin my religion minor with her 100 level Christianity class. I'm so thankful for this because it has provided momentum for future direction!
That summer I cut my locs off! This was to symbolize the new person I believed I had become and I don't regret that decision. This was the first part in dedicating the summer (and, subsequently, my whole Junior year) to living for myself and not worrying about other people all the time. This is something I've struggled with in all of my relationships with other people and I am grateful that I've learned to take care of myself more and more as I've gotten older. It still takes hard and intentional work to continually grow in this way, but it's work I'm willing to do for my own sake.
This was the year that I got my first apartment with Joyce! The day before I left for school was extremely stressful because it became unclear how this apartment would be financially supported. I worked as much as I could that summer to offset a lot of the costs, but it wasn't enough. The stress was not worth it and I applied to be an RA for my senior year to avoid this stress. I'm still so thankful for this experience that I shared with Joyce and am more thankful that she is still my friend after all that. ;)
I started seeing a therapist at school, because I thought it would be good to unpack some of the feelings that I have, inclusive of emotional traumas. My first therapy sessions were focused on my problematic friends and financial stress.
I also publicly came out on social media. This was an important moment for me because it made me feel valued and loved. Thank you for all the support from my friends and family who care about me and were there for me during this time.
I started working on Week of Welcome and putting on campus programming events in August and quickly made lovely, encouraging friends at my first UPB retreat at Jay Peak. It was at Jay Peak that I decided to drop Biochem, and, subsequently, my pre-med track. I called my mom in tears about it and she just responded: "Do things that make you happy. This obviously does not. I won't be disappointed. My mom is the most supporting individual in my life journey and I'm so thankful for the powerful bond that we have. I love her so much.
Junior Fall was my best semester of school ever and I had finally broken this curse of bad grades! I was also able to balance academics, going to parties almost every weekend, host visits with friends from home, spend plenty of time with friends at school, and rediscovered my calling and yearning for religious education.
I also had my first kiss in the fall of my Junior Year which so cute and precious and I'm thankful for the situationships that I've had since then, starting with that first person.
2018:
2018 was an... interesting year.
My work on UPB, attending the Next Step Social Justice Retreat for the first time, and being surrounded by more queer individuals, and people of color on such a white campus made me further realize why being in Vermont was so draining for me. As I developed more social awareness, I learned more and more about what had been increasingly important for me and started my journey into more active social activism. UVM started to become increasingly isolating as I become more and more aware.
That spring I attempted to become more active in the social activism on campus and worked with people of color to present a list of demands to the deans. My personal work through this was the start of a conversation with the dean of the College of Arts & Sciences and led to my Senior Year position of Undergraduate Diversity Fellow.
I had my internship with the UVM Interfaith Center and worked with the lovely Rev. Laura Engelken, who has provided me wonderful advice and mentorship in the time that I've known her. I'm thankful to have been able to participate and facilitate in the Dinner & Dialogue series that the center offered, as well as get the ball rolling on introducing Prayer & Meditation spaces at UVM, and participate in Laura's first Interfaith Retreat at UVM in Spring 2019.
I revitalized my blog with my LEMONADE blog series! I explored themes of each of the 12 songs of Beyonce's Lemonade, how they each related to my life. I'm glad that I renewed my interest in writing and have made 23 posts since January 2018!
I began my Senior Year of college in 2018 as the incoming Director of Production for UPB, a role that taught me so much about my supervisory skills and fostered amazing connections with people that I love. I miss UPB so much and am glad I did it. I was also an RA which was less fun, but I did the thing and made some lifelong friends doing it.
In September, a friend and UPBuddy of mine, Nikisha, took her life. This colored the rest of my collegiate experience and made me very thankful for my journey with therapy in unpacking how this has affected my life. I know that a lot of people were devastated from this loss and I'm in awe of how many people Nikisha positively impacted. I miss you, Nikisha. Thank you for being a source of light in my life.
I trained to be a facilitator for the 2019 Next Step Social Justice Retreat and learned even more about my abilities to work with others, my need for affinity groups, and how to surround myself with people who can provide me with energy through that experience.
The end of my 2018 was very boring, but I'm thankful for the rest I was able to experience before my last semester at UVM.
2019:
In 2019, I've attempted to be more mindful of my life experiences. I wanted to break gender norms, I wanted to force myself to have difficult conversations with people, and I've grown in ways I've wanted to grow
The rest of my collegiate journey went pretty smoothly. I had many last visits and events and celebrations and bar hops and coffee shop hops and experiences with the people I love in Vermont. Some of the last of the drama from my friend group at home was ending, and I've had conversations to give myself closure and fully put an end to what those relationships looked like previously.
In May, I graduated from the University of Vermont with The Keith M. Miser Leadership Award which recognizes the senior student who has been successful in campus leadership endeavors and honors Keith’s idea of student involvement and recognizes a student who has contributed to the campus through their leadership on campus. It was one of five awards given to senior student leaders at commencement. I'm very thankful that my endeavors have been received well and was appreciative that this was part of the close of my collegiate experience. I felt seen, appreciated, and valued. Thank you to those who have developed my abilities as a leader throughout my life.
Additionally, this fall I've been applying to Master's in Social Work & a Master's in Divinity programs as the next step in my higher education journey. I'm hopeful that these applications are well received and that I can start taking the academic steps to becoming the person I want to be- career-wise.
Thank you to everyone I've encountered on this journey. Thank you for helping me evolve and become the person I am now, continually working to be the person I want to be. I'm filled with love, gratitude, joy, grief, sadness, knowledge, weariness, and peace.
Here's to the 2020's.
Tune in on the 1st of the Decade to read about what I'm hoping 2020 is like for me!
As always, a brief overview of months previous (I just realized I did October two posts in a row? Yikes)
November
- November started out with an Emmaus Weekend overview! I was asked to serve the team as Chief Aux, the person in charge of the schedule and time on the weekend, and so we went over the schedule for the whole weekend.
- On November 15th, I decided to visit Fitch High School and see some teachers with my friend Rachel! It was really nice to be able to catch up with these teachers, share stories of the last 4 years, and reminisce about my time in high school
- This was also the first day of Southeast Emmaus Weekend #30! My first weekend back on team as an adult was an amazing experience and I'm so glad to be able to be apart of the community in an active way again.
- Directly after the weekend, the then-Assistant Rector, now-Rector for Emmaus #31 in March, Charlie Plungis, asked me to be his Assistant Rector. I was so honored to be asked and thankful for the opportunity to fulfill a dream of mine. One of my goals for being home in CT was to be Rector of an Emmaus Weekend, and now that will become a reality in November 2020 on Emmaus #32. Between now and then, a core group of us are attempting to reinvigorate the program by focusing on the intentions of the program, addressing parts that need to be updated since the program started 15 years ago, and making our meeting schedule fit more people's abilities.
- On November 22nd, the Student Council put together Great Oaks Charter School- Bridgeport's first Homecoming Dance. It was amazing and beautiful and I'm so thankful for the council, fellow advisors, esp. Dianne & Cherice, and the opportunity to provide high-quality events for my kids.
- On November 23rd, some high school fellows and I had Friendsgiving where we ate some Southern Comfort food. That weekend I was also able to hang out with RiRi & Nick Fech which was so pleasant :)
- On Thanksgiving I got yelled at in front of my entire family by a family member for reading Horoscopes, deemed to be the work of Satan:) that was an amazing experience:) It forced me to think about some of my priorities in this time of finding Home and being around my family and focusing on my own self-worth and self-image.
Anyway... it's this post time!
Here's a #TBT of The 2010's!
Obviously it's not going to be a COMPLETE overview of the past ten years. That would be impossible! But, it's a lot of the major events and themes of my life over this past decade and meant to serve as a reflection before we start this next one. I heavily relied on Facebook's Grid View for some of the more major events.
2010:
I started the decade as a 12 year old and had all my teenage years in this decade. I finished 7th grade and started 8th grade at Fitch Middle School, which is now closed. I had cut my original set of locs that I had had since 4th grade and, subsequently, started a process of regrowing them. In 2010 I had a cat named Onyx Berry Williams who passed away in 2012. My favorite band was All Time Low because I had a crush on a girl who sang "Therapy" at a talent show in 7th grade. I had a flip phone as my first phone and used my PSP to listen to music. My favorite gaming system was the Nintendo Wii because my cousin Genesis had already tripped over and broke my PS2 by this time. I liked playing MarioKart and Super Smash Bros. BRAWL online because my family got wireless internet in September. I was very involved in my church at this time, participating in both bell choirs, both vocal choirs, the youth jam band, and youth group in general. We were gearing up for my final play at Union Baptist Church, "Makin' Room" which premiered in January 2011. I played make believe games outside with my friends and was really invested in writing Book One of The Chronicles of the Raging Ones book series with a few other friends: "Greek Hero? More Like Greek Zero!" This eventually fell apart and I've since drifted from these friends. I made my second Facebook account in July, because the one I had made the previous year got deleted by Facebook because I was too young to have one... but I was still too young in July 2010 so I don't know how they let me slide with this current account. I Skyped with friends quite a bit and made a habit of staying up way past my bedtime. I gave up eating beef (for the first time!) in October for whatever reasons I had at that point. 2010 ended with my father passing away on December 29th.2011:
2011 started with my dad's funeral on January 5th. My favorite song at the time was "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen, so I sang that at his funeral. To this day, I can't bear to hear the song and I choose to save singing it for very special occasions. 2011 was also my last year of middle school, so I participated in my third and final Middle School Eastern Regions Festival and saw How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying ft. Daniel Radcliffe on Broadway with the Fitch Middle School Music Department. I made a YouTube channel and sang covers of songs that I liked on it, including "A Whole New World" from Disney's Aladdin and the Alphabet song. I got an iPod Touch and started putting songs on that device instead of using my Playstation Portable. I went to my first Area I Bell Conference at UMass Amherst and was somehow convinced to give Football a try for high school... which didn't happen. In March I created this: "MY BIG FREAKING HARRY POTTER MARATHON!!!!!!! Schedule" for July 14th & 15th, when the 8th movie in the Harry Potter series came out. This was definitely one of the more neurotic things I did pre-high school. A few days after that movie premiered, I shaved my face for the first time. In August I started Marching Band which colored my whole high school experience. In September I started high school- we started on the Tuesday after Labor Day because of Hurricane Irene. A lot of the hangouts I did during my freshman year of high school were largely centered around walking all around Groton with a few friends. These were some of my favorite times I had spent with people in high school.2012:
This was the first year I started making my "About Me" section on Facebook a really big part of my social media identity. The original intention of this was so that I was able to "find my happiness again"- an integral part of that year's New Year's Resolution. I joined Planet Fitness for the first time, so as to dedicate myself to a fitness journey that is still in its infancy 🙃 (I'm only a little bit joking)
In February, a previous member of my church, took his own life. This was the first time suicide manifested itself in a very real, scary, and physical way in my life. I wish access to mental health resources were more discussed during this time in my life, because I know so many people, including myself, who have suffered with suicidal ideations. I know that these conversations can be difficult, but having them is the best preventative measure that we have.
In April, my littlest first cousin, Abbott Cole Williams was born and my Uncle Warren became a father. My uncles and I disagree on a lot of things, but I know for certain that he loves Abbott more than anything else in this world and will do anything to keep him happy and healthy. Abbott keeps us all young in so many ways and I'm so thankful he has graced my life for the past 7 years:)
My first year of high school ended in 2012. Academically, I didn't do the best that I could have done, but that was not a worry for the rest of my high school career. By the end of the year, I knew I as going to be in Chamber Choir the next year and Co-Low Brass Section Leader in Marching Band. I met friends I thought were going to be my best friends forever, but instead gave me invaluable life lessons.
I memorized the entire Marching Band Show for my sophomore year on Baritone, to show how dedicated I was to the band, but was asked to play Tuba for the season because we were getting a new, amazing Baritone player. I did whatever Lefebvre asked me, because I wanted so badly to be drum major in the future and thought that strict compliance was going to reward me. I never ended up memorizing the whole show on Tuba, by the way. I didn't end up getting the Drum Major position, but was instead given the title of Captain of the Marching Band, or Lefebvre's right hand man in student leadership.
I don't really have many memorable events for the first half of sophomore year!
The year closed with a very exhausting 15th birthday party that I hosted at the Groton Municipal Center for myself.... why did anyone let me do this? I have no clue... While I have no distinct memories of this party, I promise you it was not very fun and I very much regret forcing all these people to get together for a very mediocre time... and subsequently posting in a group of more 100 people how dissatisfied I was with how it turned out... and wasting energy and money on it... but y'know, we can't change the past.
2013:
The second half of Sophomore Year! I was awarded with the Most Outstanding Sophomore Award in Marching Band as well as many other academic achievements (after pulling my shit together, compared to Freshman year).
I spent quite a bit of time at Camp Wightman during this summer because I was training to be a counselor for the first time in the LEAD program. This was the last summer I did Senior High Event, because I felt like I was outgrowing that part of the program. Unfortunately, the summer of 2014 was my last year of camp because becoming a camp counselor no longer seemed like something I wanted to do if it meant dealing with the bureaucracy of camp leadership.
I participated in my second and most recent Area I bell festival at the University of New Hampshire!
I also went to DC for the National Independence Day Parade where I marched tuba for the last time! Although I thought I was going to pass out in my WOOL uniform on JULY FOURTH in HOT ASS DC, we made it through and it ended up being an invaluable experience.
Additionally, I was given the opportunity to represent my church denomination, American Baptist Churches of Connecticut, at our denominational National Gathering in Kansas City as a Regional Youth Representative. This allowed me to explore some more intricate parts of my church and its history. I'm so thankful for this experience.
My Junior Year started in 2013. My marching band was #1 in the region, I was excelling in all my classes, inclusive of AP & IB. I got a Shih Tzu named Daisy Williams who had to be given away a year ago because my family could no longer take care of her. I miss and love her so much. The year ended with me turing 16 and getting my permit to start learning how to drive and then heading to Texas for Christmas Break! I don't remember how long we stayed, but this was the last time I'd visited my family in Texas- and the last trip I will probably ever take with my grandmother. I'm thankful for that time spent with my little cousins and my grandma.
2014:
In 2014, during the second half of my Junior Year, I auditioned and was able to participate in my first ever All-State Music festival in the Mixed Vocal Choir. I loved the experience All States gave me and miss seeing in these choirs with amazing musicians!
I attended driver's ed for the first couple months of 2014 and got my license in April!
I was able to attend two proms, which was so nice to have been able to do.
I was voted in as President of my class for Senior Year which was my goal, throughout all of high school. I'm so thankful for the people who supported me in that position and for the growth I was able to undergo as President.
I then started Senior Year in the fall! I had my last season in my marching band as band captain, and although we were only 2nd in the region, I feel like this was my favorite year to be a leader in the band and to perform at the level of excellence we had achieved in the four short years I had experienced under Lefebvre's leadership. There are many things about high school that I do not miss, but I surely do miss most parts of my marching band career.
At some point in senior year I had discovered that I loved Beyonce, and have been a dedicated BeyHive member since.
In September, I was chosen as a recipient of the Martin Luther King, Jr. Scholarship Award- one based on academic excellence, leadership demonstration, community involvement, and overall emulation of Dr. King’s character and beliefs. This award felt like a culmination of all the hard work I put into my education and extracurricular activities and I feel so blessed to have been able to use that award toward my education.
In November I started working at my first job ever at G.H. Bass & Co. in Mystic, CT! This was a job I held on to until June 2018. Although I had turned 16 eleven months before this, I thought it was smart to start working after 1st: obtaining a license, 2nd: not start during the summer because I was gone for pretty much all of July, and 3rd: after marching band season.
2015:
Let me tell you... Senior Year was a shit show. I was in over my head with the classes I was taking, coupled with the extracurricular commitments I had... and ended up not doing well at all.
One of my goals in life was to get into Yale College... I was deferred and later rejected, assumably because of my Senior Year grades. Early into 2015, though, I discovered that my academic career would continue at the University of Vermont after I graduated from Fitch High School.Despite not doing so hot, I made sure to end senior year with some very memorable events.
I participated and won the Mr. Falcon Pageant Show at our school, I went to NYC and sung at Carnegie Hall with my Chamber Choir, I hung out with friends all the time, I had a great time at prom, and did the thing and graduated from high school!
I started college at UVM, lowkey fell in love with a best friend, met my actual best friend, and dedicated a lot of my time to maintain friendships from high school.
My first year at UVM did not go well. At this point in my life, I really thought I wanted to be a Neuroscience major and wanted to go to school for medicine. I'm glad that I had the experiences I had to know, for certain, that this is no longer my path, but I do wish I had chosen a different major.
Also, at this point in my life- I didn't identify as queer- so really the word for all of 2015 was ~Denial~.
I also started this blog in 2015!
2016:
I started the summer season by getting a 2005 Honda Pilot, named Rhonda. I love Rhonda with my whole heart and am grateful for the many trips that me and my first car have had together. I spent most of the summer extremely depressed and unmotivated, glued to my couch. I don't regret the time of rest I gave myself, but do wish I had worked another job, or spent more time with friends, or anything else other than what I did.
My Sophomore year I started to become more involved on campus. Part of this was because my friend group at home was falling apart, but also because I wanted to be a more well-rounded undergraduate student. I chose to run as President of our Hall Council with my friend Mari running for Vice President. We both also took up a few days a week working as Delivery Drivers for Papa John's. For sophomore year, I'm mostly thankful for my experience at 2 North East Affiliate of College and University Residence Halls Regional Conference as well as a National Conference.
I came out to my friends and family at some point during the fall after realizing it wasn't worth the time or energy to keep it a secret from myself or from other people any more. 2016 ended with my last big event for my friend group at home- "Starting 2017 Right!"
2017
2017 was an extremely transformative year for me. At the end of my sophomore year, I was hired to be on the UVM Program Board as a member of the Production Team because I sent a nice email about Springfest tickets. Additionally, around this time, I really thought about whether pre-med was right for me. I contacted Professor Anne Clark in the religion department about getting into one of her TAP classes. She told me it was for freshman only, but invited me to begin my religion minor with her 100 level Christianity class. I'm so thankful for this because it has provided momentum for future direction!
This was the year that I got my first apartment with Joyce! The day before I left for school was extremely stressful because it became unclear how this apartment would be financially supported. I worked as much as I could that summer to offset a lot of the costs, but it wasn't enough. The stress was not worth it and I applied to be an RA for my senior year to avoid this stress. I'm still so thankful for this experience that I shared with Joyce and am more thankful that she is still my friend after all that. ;)
I started seeing a therapist at school, because I thought it would be good to unpack some of the feelings that I have, inclusive of emotional traumas. My first therapy sessions were focused on my problematic friends and financial stress.
I also publicly came out on social media. This was an important moment for me because it made me feel valued and loved. Thank you for all the support from my friends and family who care about me and were there for me during this time.
I started working on Week of Welcome and putting on campus programming events in August and quickly made lovely, encouraging friends at my first UPB retreat at Jay Peak. It was at Jay Peak that I decided to drop Biochem, and, subsequently, my pre-med track. I called my mom in tears about it and she just responded: "Do things that make you happy. This obviously does not. I won't be disappointed. My mom is the most supporting individual in my life journey and I'm so thankful for the powerful bond that we have. I love her so much.
Junior Fall was my best semester of school ever and I had finally broken this curse of bad grades! I was also able to balance academics, going to parties almost every weekend, host visits with friends from home, spend plenty of time with friends at school, and rediscovered my calling and yearning for religious education.
I also had my first kiss in the fall of my Junior Year which so cute and precious and I'm thankful for the situationships that I've had since then, starting with that first person.
2018:
2018 was an... interesting year.
My work on UPB, attending the Next Step Social Justice Retreat for the first time, and being surrounded by more queer individuals, and people of color on such a white campus made me further realize why being in Vermont was so draining for me. As I developed more social awareness, I learned more and more about what had been increasingly important for me and started my journey into more active social activism. UVM started to become increasingly isolating as I become more and more aware.That spring I attempted to become more active in the social activism on campus and worked with people of color to present a list of demands to the deans. My personal work through this was the start of a conversation with the dean of the College of Arts & Sciences and led to my Senior Year position of Undergraduate Diversity Fellow.
I had my internship with the UVM Interfaith Center and worked with the lovely Rev. Laura Engelken, who has provided me wonderful advice and mentorship in the time that I've known her. I'm thankful to have been able to participate and facilitate in the Dinner & Dialogue series that the center offered, as well as get the ball rolling on introducing Prayer & Meditation spaces at UVM, and participate in Laura's first Interfaith Retreat at UVM in Spring 2019.
I revitalized my blog with my LEMONADE blog series! I explored themes of each of the 12 songs of Beyonce's Lemonade, how they each related to my life. I'm glad that I renewed my interest in writing and have made 23 posts since January 2018!
I began my Senior Year of college in 2018 as the incoming Director of Production for UPB, a role that taught me so much about my supervisory skills and fostered amazing connections with people that I love. I miss UPB so much and am glad I did it. I was also an RA which was less fun, but I did the thing and made some lifelong friends doing it.
In September, a friend and UPBuddy of mine, Nikisha, took her life. This colored the rest of my collegiate experience and made me very thankful for my journey with therapy in unpacking how this has affected my life. I know that a lot of people were devastated from this loss and I'm in awe of how many people Nikisha positively impacted. I miss you, Nikisha. Thank you for being a source of light in my life.
I trained to be a facilitator for the 2019 Next Step Social Justice Retreat and learned even more about my abilities to work with others, my need for affinity groups, and how to surround myself with people who can provide me with energy through that experience.
The end of my 2018 was very boring, but I'm thankful for the rest I was able to experience before my last semester at UVM.
2019:
In 2019, I've attempted to be more mindful of my life experiences. I wanted to break gender norms, I wanted to force myself to have difficult conversations with people, and I've grown in ways I've wanted to grow
The rest of my collegiate journey went pretty smoothly. I had many last visits and events and celebrations and bar hops and coffee shop hops and experiences with the people I love in Vermont. Some of the last of the drama from my friend group at home was ending, and I've had conversations to give myself closure and fully put an end to what those relationships looked like previously.
In May, I graduated from the University of Vermont with The Keith M. Miser Leadership Award which recognizes the senior student who has been successful in campus leadership endeavors and honors Keith’s idea of student involvement and recognizes a student who has contributed to the campus through their leadership on campus. It was one of five awards given to senior student leaders at commencement. I'm very thankful that my endeavors have been received well and was appreciative that this was part of the close of my collegiate experience. I felt seen, appreciated, and valued. Thank you to those who have developed my abilities as a leader throughout my life.
This past summer I got the amazing opportunity to work with some rambunctious, but very lovely 7-8 year olds at Groton Town Parks & Rec. I'm thankful for the ability to have been able to give back to my home community and for the ability to make kids smile.
This year I took on my AmeriCorps position as a Fellow. It has been an... interesting... journey, that I will share more details about in a future blog post as it continues to unfold.
Additionally, this fall I've been applying to Master's in Social Work & a Master's in Divinity programs as the next step in my higher education journey. I'm hopeful that these applications are well received and that I can start taking the academic steps to becoming the person I want to be- career-wise.
I also came back to the Emmaus Community as an adult and am now working as Assistant Rector for the next weekend in March. I'm so humbled that I was asked to serve God in this way and am so excited for what this next year has in store for me in terms of Emmaus and my faith journey.
The 2010's were a crazy, but wonderful, but stressful, but invaluable rollercoaster. I've grown. I've learned. I've loved. I've lost. I'm extremely thankful for all the experiences that I've gone through this decade and appreciate all the people I had these experiences with, even if they are no longer in my life or if drama tore our relationship apart.
Thank you to everyone I've encountered on this journey. Thank you for helping me evolve and become the person I am now, continually working to be the person I want to be. I'm filled with love, gratitude, joy, grief, sadness, knowledge, weariness, and peace.
Here's to the 2020's.
Tune in on the 1st of the Decade to read about what I'm hoping 2020 is like for me!
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